Don't Take Criticism Personally

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Postpone your first reaction. If your first reaction is to lash back at the person giving the criticism, or to become defensive, take a minute before reacting at all. Move slowly (not acting-out) toward the person, then turn away saying, "Let's talk about this in a minute." Take a deep breath, and give it a little thought. For example, let a critical email sit in your inbox for at least an hour before replying. That is like walking away from someone instead of saying something you’ll regret later. Save your reply as a draft and come back an hour or a day later to polish it before sending. Remember, emails can be forwarded to others by the recipient with a few clicks.

See it as an opportunity to improve — and without that constant improvement, we are just sitting still. Improvement is a good thing. For example, this criticism: “You write about the same things over and over and your blog posts are boring and stale", can be read: “I need to increase the variety of my posts and find new ways of looking at old things.” That’s just one example of course — you can do that with just about any criticism. Sometimes it’s just someone having a bad day, but many times there’s at least a grain of truth in the criticism.

Warning

• Do not confuse criticism with insults. Insults are ad hominem (personal conflict like off-topic descriptions of a person) but criticism may change your life for the better because you may use it to redirect your communication and efforts. Stay engaged and active while not allowing the criticism to stagnate you, but use the stirring-up to prompt a flow of more appropriate inputs and outputs...